I’ve been writing more about my writing life over on regularjen.com and less here. There isn’t really much reason to keep going with this one since writing is my career goal anyway and the main blog has become more appropriate for the content. Not sure what to do with this one, but I may see if there’s a way to suck the content from this and integrate it into regularjen.com. Or not. Haven’t decided yet.

It’s almost like writing your own obituary— I wrote a dedication, the dedication, that is to appear in my first published book. In a way this is both the strongest push to finish a project and the most intimidating one. Will I ever get to use it? Hell yeah. And it’s terrifying to think about. It’s there to encourage and empower.

That’s why I’ve put it on a post-it note in front of my desk. It stares at me, begging to be used.
One day, little note. One day.

I signed up for a writing site that features a marketplace for articles. I wrote one; it’s an audio book review for a best-selling title. I did what the job outline suggested and not only covered all the key points required but added my personal voice to the review. I didn’t particularly like the audio book and I tore into the author a bit (professionally, of course), but the words I wrote were true and in my style. And guess what—

My review sold.
Yes, I’m back to selling some writing. Pennies in the bucket, sure, but selling. Feels amazing.

I’m after more of that, please.

I was just reading through an article (found through StumbleUpon) that talks about the common points of intimidation that overcome many writers.

• “I could never write as well as _____ can.”
• “What could I say that hasn’t already been said by someone else (or worse, said better)?”
• “I don’t know if I can keep up a writing schedule.”
• “What if nobody likes what I’m writing, or thinks I’m an amateur?”

The interesting thing is that these are not the same bullet points that intimidate me. Not even close. Mine aren’t so much run-of-the-mill anxieties, but are pretty specific to me and my brain. You’ll see the ADD/ADHD issues loud and clear.
What I worry about:

• “I don’t know if I’ll ever fill in the blanks. The highlights were enough for me, and now I want to move on to the next story.”
• “What if I don’t remember enough to be faithful to the events. I don’t want to be called a liar.”
• “How many beginnings before I can finish a story? What if I can only write beginnings?”
• “Which country am I writing for now? US? UK? Can I even separate my native English from my adopted English?”

I don’t have any doubt in my ability. I know that all the major stories/themes have been written already— it’s how you make the story your own that matters. I can keep to a schedule through discipline (when I don’t choose to ignore my own nagging). The opinions of others don’t factor as a concern because I know I won’t please everyone. I’m sure my list is probably shared by others out there, but the points aren’t usually covered by writing pep-talk books, advice sites, or blog posts. Perhaps I’ve just created a project for myself…

Is there a spout to pour the words? I have several projects going on and seem to get ’so far’ with them before I either fizzle or fear.

Damn it. I want to stop folding when shit gets hard.

Instead of trying to keep my writing bits separate from my ‘normal’ blog, perhaps I should just focus on one all-encompassing outlet for the thoughts.

This blog is under threat of being made redundant.

The real focus has always been over at regularjen.com anyway…

The whole writing thing, that is.

I’m still a blogging fool over at my main blog, regularjen.com, but have also been busy getting into the good habit of writing braindumps into cheap notebooks everyday. I’m getting there, and it’s getting easier to do. I don’t just mean the discipline of writing— I also mean the flexing of hand muscles. I’ve become lazy over the years, thanks to typing and mouse action. These braindumps are limbering me up again and I’m finding it easier to pour out thoughts through a pen instead of mainly using a computer. I used to get sore just writing out a quick letter to a friend, but now I’m writing a dozen pages before feeling any strain.

Hooray!

They needed words in a hurry for a launch about to happen; I was conveniently available at whatever-o-clock at night to help out. I did the copywriting for the channel descriptions for PodShow UK (aka: btpodshow.com, reflecting their partnership with BT in the UK) and although the space they sit in now cuts off several characters of most of the descriptions (my original brief and subsequent copy approvals did not ask me to shorten— the copy was actually written for a larger space in a previous site design), my careful yet hastily written words are visible to millions of site visitors the world over. That’s a pretty cool thing. Here’s a bit of what I did:

Click thumbnail image to enlarge.
The reason I kept quiet about the involvement was mostly that I didn’t want to jinx it and see Podshow put in ‘professional’ words in place of my last-minute, deadline-looming filler text. They haven’t yet, and it’s been months and months. I think they have bigger things to concern them than my words. Must mean I did all right.

Looking forward, I’d love to rewrite the channel descriptions to fit the character limitations of the space they’ve crammed my words into. Some of the text doesn’t make as much sense and loses some of the wit it had before. I’ll ask about this… I have a very local guy I can speak to.

Technorati Tags: freelance, Podshow, writing

Writing was getting a back seat to life for awhile and that wasn’t making me happy. We moved house, I got a part-time job, and my immigration status all changed at the beginning of this year. Writing kept getting pushed aside as I dealt with the stress and changes. Things have evened out now and we’re settled in all three of those aforementioned areas. I’m even beginning to get settled into the writing again. Yesterday I went on a writing spree and churned out over fifteen pages of brain-dump in a little more than an hour! It felt fantastic! I don’t expect this many pages will make it out of me everyday, but my rate is increasing and I’m feeling more confident than ever. Soon, I’ll be submitting my assignments again (no rush, as there’s no time limit) and I’m preparing a few contest entries as well.

I’m beginning to believe that things are possible again.

I got to thinking the other day — a day where I made up another plot for another novel I haven’t written yet — that perhaps my ADD gets in the way of writing.

Here’s how:

- I think up a story.
- I outline or mind map the story.
- I come up with the character basics.
- I am satisfied.
- I shift focus to something else entirely never to return again to the vignette I created.

Does this happen to other people too? I need to find the focus to continue working on something that I’ve already got a handle on… I know roughly what happens and that’s enough for me. Resolved. Fin.

Must flesh out a few stories now. Who knows, I may have a few novels worth already! Or at the very least, the world’s shortest book of short stories…

Technorati Tags: ADD, ADHD, writing